when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
