y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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