dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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