I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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