I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
