i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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