you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
