so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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