i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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