and she was petting her beer can
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize