i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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