so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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