xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
