i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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