I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
