When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
