Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
