this will be a night to untag.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
