marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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