I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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