two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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