Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
