these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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