Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
