I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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