There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i think my cat just said my name.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
