Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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