I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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