She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
