apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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