New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
