You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
