you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
