I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize