And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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