I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
