Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
