So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
