i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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