i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
