i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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