is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you had me at cake vodka
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
