I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We had to coat check the pizza.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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