and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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