No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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