just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
that is very illegal...i love you.
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