how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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