until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
