That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you had me at cake vodka
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
