I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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