he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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