so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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