There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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