sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
