Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Alive.
So much puke
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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