I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
