More tranny stories later!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
