If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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