Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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