TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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