Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize